Making assumptions

I was having coffee with Bronte yesteday in Gloria Jeans on Rundle St. I was telling him about the conflicts that we had in the past few days. He said something that made me realise why didn't my past relationship work.

The good thing about the conflicts in the past few days is that we were able to talk things out properly and both parties were about to understand each other. Bronte agreed with me, that communication is really important in a relationship. He also told me that the thing that contributes to poor communication is making assumptions.

Making assumptions.. I wonder for a moment. Then he explained to me. He gave me a scenario. If one of you looked upset, you should try to understand by asking yourself, "is she okay?", "maybe she is tired?", "maybe something bad just happened?", then you asked if she is okay; rather than assuming that she is not happy with you, because this makes you upset as well, and it sets up a chain reaction.

Those words struck my mind, and I suddenly realise the biggest problem I had in the past. Making assumptions. It's a real killer man..

It's really important that we always give support to each other. Even when both of us are feeling sad at the same time, it is important to talk things out nicely and try to sort everything out. That's how a relationship should be. It should be based on each other's support, trust and understanding.

It's a learning process.. and I am learning

thoughts

I have been extra vulnerable these few days. My heart can be very easily affected now. Maybe I care too much about that person that small things that happened can affect me and make me worried. Even seeing the person sad makes me sad as well..

Sometimes I realised that I should be more cheerful and stay stronger when that person is down, at least I can say something to cheer her up. But not being a good actor, I just can pretend to be happy when I am not. And most of the time when I am not happy, I can't concentrate on doing other things that require a lot of concentrate of my mind, e.g. studying. It is SWOT vac now. It's still not too bad yet coz I still have about 9 days till my first paper. but if this keeps going like this I will need to figure out something.

Still remember a friend saying this to me when I was in high school.. you can't live like this, you are someone great and have your own way of doing things but now you are just living your life depending on that person.. it changed you so much and this is not the person that I used to know..

I can't concentrate when i am down doesn't mean that I suck at managing my emotion. It simply means that I care a lot about that person and my mind is occupied by that person. That only happen when I really love someone...